We are all individuals with unique personalities, needs and desires. We all have unique backgrounds, upbringing, family history, and so on. This is part of what makes life interesting. Being unique means that what works for one person may or may not work for someone else. Being unique also means we may connect more with one person, and not connect as well with someone else. I feel this is normal, and perfectly ok.
As a midwife, I want to connect with my clients and I want them to connect with me. A huge factor in the safety of home birth is trust. Trust in the birth process, and trust in mom's body is important. Even more important, in my opinion, is trust in your birth team, especially your midwife. As I attend more births, that need for trust in the birth team has become more and more evident to me. The births where there is a lack of trust just don't seem to work as well as births where trust is overflowing.
Before I agree to serve a client, I need to meet them in person. This is the chance for the client to interview me and for me to interview them as well. During the interview I am looking for a connection, understanding and respect. With those things in place, trust can be nurtured. If they are not there, I am not the midwife for that client. I want the very best outcomes for my clients and families, so there are times I have to turn down someone who wants to hire me. Likewise, I have interviewed with prospective clients who decided to hire a different midwife. I'm thankful those Moms recognized they connected better with a different midwife. I want potential clients to know if they have any doubts, or do not feel a connection, they should continue looking for a midwife to find the one they connect well with. Knowing I am not the midwife for everyone who is pregnant makes me a better midwife for everyone.