Some Dads try to keep home life going at the same pace it was before baby's arrival. Some Dads try to keep the house spotless and make sure all meals are homemade. These things are great goals, but when everyone is sleep deprived and adjusting to the changes a new baby brings, it can be too much. Unfortunately, some dads might get a few days off work and then have to go back to work which can bring Dad some stress and maybe guilt that Mom is having to take on more while she is recovering from birth than if he was at home to help.
I have seen everything I mentioned above. And I've seen Dads struggle. The symptoms of postpartum depression in Dads is very similar to Mothers. I want to know Dad is doing well so I check in with Dad when I'm doing a postpartum. I want to know that Dad is getting at least 6 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. I want to know that Dad is eating well. I want to know that Dad is taking care of himself. I also want to answer any questions Dad may have.
I might make suggestions like using paper plates, ordering food in, or going to the store and picking up a few frozen pizzas for meals. I might suggest Dad take naps or get a few hours of sleep at night in a different room than Mom and baby. I might suggest Dad see a therapist if I am seeing signs he is heading into postpartum depression.
I want Dad to thrive when baby arrives. I want Dad to be empowered and equipped to support Mom and baby well. Because I want the entire family to thrive, I ask questions and talk to Dad about postpartum depression. I want Dad to feel respected, valued and heard. I do not want Dad to be forgotten in the busyness of life with a newborn.