Planning for birth should start as soon as you learn you are pregnant. Here are my tips to make life easier when you are close to your due date.

1.  Do not share your due date.  Sharing that info only sets you up for pressure as your due date approaches, and the pressure only increases if you go past your due date.  Those who know the due date may ask you why you aren't getting induced, if you and baby are ok, if there is something wrong ect.  One idea I suggest is to give a due window like sometime in June or July instead of a definite date.  I think this is the most important thing you can do to make life easier as your due date comes, and potentially goes before baby arrives.

2.  Do not listen to birth stories.  Birth stories are like fishing stories, they get bigger, scarier and more dramatic with each retelling.  If you want to hear birth stories, source them from people you trust or read a book with birth stories such as Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin.  

3.   Do not tell everyone when labor has begun.  Sometimes labors are start and stop, or they may take longer than people think they should.  You may start getting questions asking if everything is ok, what is the delay, and so on.  Decide beforehand who needs to know your labor has started, and who you want to tell that you know isn't going to make it public.

4. Be prepared.  Attending a good childbirth education class will help you be ready.  I am not referring to the classes the hospital does that have a heavy emphasis on how to be a good patient and what to expect at the hospital.  If you are planning on having your baby at the hospital, they can be a good supplement to childbirth education.  Bradley classes, Birth Bootcamp and Hypnobabies are among the many good classes out there.  Many have shifted to an online format which makes them easily accessible to everyone. 

5.   Practice the exercises, coping mechanisms and whatever else the childbirth education classes recommend to be prepared for birth.   It will be much harder to draw on the skills, coping mechanisms and comfort measures if you haven't practiced them.  Being familiar with them is not the same as having experience actually doing them.

6.   Plan some fun activities to do to savor those last few days and weeks before your family grows with the birth of your baby.  Sometimes the anticipation of baby arriving pulls focus away from savoring the last days or weeks before things change with birth.

7.    Plan on your pregnancy going past your due date (you can read more about how accurate due dates are here).  If you plan and expect to go past your due date then it's no big deal if baby hasn't come by the due date, and a bonus if baby has arrived.

8.     Trust your body.  Your body doesn't need any help and there isn't anything you have to do to go into labor.  You won't be pregnant forever.  Your baby and body know the perfect timing for birth.

9.  Dial in your self care.  This will look different for everyone.  Ideas to get you thinking include buying that book you really want to read, getting a massage, taking naps, or watching that movie you've been meaning to get to.

10.  Consider handing phone duty off to a friend, partner or other family member you trust until baby arrives.  You may find you have lower stress letting someone else screen phone calls and text messages for you instead of having to interact with everyone who contacts you.

I hope you find something on this list that helps you have a less stressful time as your due date approaches, and perhaps passes.  Please share any ideas you have, you can leave a comment below. 

Update:  A reader recommended making ahead freezer meals and easily made meals you can pop in the oven or crockpot after baby arrives.

As a doula, I saw a big disconnect between the current evidence and recommendations and the care that was actually given.  I had a client who wanted delayed cord clamping.  The American Academy of Pediatrics and World Health Organization were recommending it.  My client asked her doctor to delay cord clamping and he refused, stating it would harm the baby by giving it too much blood. That incident had me wondering what the doctor was doing, if anything, to stay current on evidence based care.  I watched as mothers were not allowed to eat even though the evidence did not support that.  I witnessed parents being coerced into making decisions to appease medical providers and I witnessed medical providers giving an "informed consent" talk that did not fully cover all the risks of whatever the provider was asking the parents to consent to.

What finally tipped me into a full on drive to become a midwife was my sister's birth.  She lived in an upscale suburb of Detroit.  She was an athlete who had a very healthy, normal pregnancy. During her labor, she and her doctor agreed that a cesearan section was the best way for baby to be born.  I was present when the doctor discussed the risks of cesearan section.  She did not tell my sister she was at a higher risk of a postpartum hemorrhage or discuss risks a c-section may pose for future pregnancies.  Ten days after her baby's birth, my sister experienced a postpartum hemorrhage.  She nearly died sitting in the hospital emergency room waiting to get adequate care.  She was asked what she did to cause the hemorrhage in way that left her feeling she was somehow to blame.  After emergency surgery, she was sent to the ICU where the medical providers searched Google in her room to tell her she should dump her breast milk for the next 24 hours.  Had they contacted the hospital's lactation consultant, they would have gotten the correct information that the breast milk was fine for baby.  She was not allowed to see her baby, hold her baby or nurse her baby until she left the ICU 3 days later.  She was traumatized by how she was treated.

That was when I decided that no woman should ever have to experience the medical care my sister did. No woman should have to sit bleeding out in an emergency room, waiting for care.  No woman should be made to feel that they somehow intentionally caused a hemorrhage.  No woman should watch a medical provider search Google for the wrong answer.  No woman and baby should be seperated after birth. The fastest way to start the change to compassionate, respectful, evidence based care women need and are entitled to is to beome the one providing the care.  That is why I am a midwife.