Postpartum depression in mothers is a serious issue and we are making strides in helping mothers who may have it. We now know Dads can get postpartum depression. In my opinion, we are not paying enough attention to or providing adequate support for Dads, and recent research agrees.

Some Dads try to keep home life going at the same pace it was before baby's arrival. Some Dads try to keep the house spotless and make sure all meals are homemade. These things are great goals, but when everyone is sleep deprived and adjusting to the changes a new baby brings, it can be too much. Unfortunately, some dads might get a few days off work and then have to go back to work which can bring Dad some stress and maybe guilt that Mom is having to take on more while she is recovering from birth than if he was at home to help.

I have seen everything I mentioned above. And I've seen Dads struggle. The symptoms of postpartum depression in Dads is very similar to Mothers. I want to know Dad is doing well so I check in with Dad when I'm doing a postpartum. I want to know that Dad is getting at least 6 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. I want to know that Dad is eating well. I want to know that Dad is taking care of himself. I also want to answer any questions Dad may have.

I might make suggestions like using paper plates, ordering food in, or going to the store and picking up a few frozen pizzas for meals. I might suggest Dad take naps or get a few hours of sleep at night in a different room than Mom and baby. I might suggest Dad see a therapist if I am seeing signs he is heading into postpartum depression.

I want Dad to thrive when baby arrives. I want Dad to be empowered and equipped to support Mom and baby well. Because I want the entire family to thrive, I ask questions and talk to Dad about postpartum depression. I want Dad to feel respected, valued and heard. I do not want Dad to be forgotten in the busyness of life with a newborn.

Newborns spend a lot of time with Mom in the first few' days and weeks after birth. This helps Mom and baby connect well or bond. While Dad isn't the one who can nurse baby, there are still lots of things Dad can do to bond with baby.  

• Dad can be the one to read baby a story every day.
• Dad can be the one to bathe baby.
• Dad can be the one in charge of getting baby ready for bed for the night.
• Dad can be the one who puts baby to bed.
• Dad can be the one who gets baby out of bed in the morning.
• Dad can be the one who is in charge of getting baby dressed and ready for the day.
• Dad can be the one who snuggles baby at dinnertime while Mom gets to have both hands free to eat.
• Dad can be the one to take baby out for a walk everyday, whether it's going through the neighborhood or driving to the mall, store or other indoor space and walking there.

I recommend that Dad should have some area of baby's day that is his special time with baby, that only he does, and does how it works for him and baby.  It may be different than how Mom would do it, but that's okay. Babies are smart, and they know Mom and Dad aren't clones of each other. Babies benefit from having Dad only time to support and increase bonding, and Dad only time shouldn't wait until baby is older.  It should start the day baby is born.