Postpartum depression in mothers is a serious issue and we are making strides in helping mothers who may have it. We now know Dads can get postpartum depression. In my opinion, we are not paying enough attention to or providing adequate support for Dads, and recent research agrees.

Some Dads try to keep home life going at the same pace it was before baby's arrival. Some Dads try to keep the house spotless and make sure all meals are homemade. These things are great goals, but when everyone is sleep deprived and adjusting to the changes a new baby brings, it can be too much. Unfortunately, some dads might get a few days off work and then have to go back to work which can bring Dad some stress and maybe guilt that Mom is having to take on more while she is recovering from birth than if he was at home to help.

I have seen everything I mentioned above. And I've seen Dads struggle. The symptoms of postpartum depression in Dads is very similar to Mothers. I want to know Dad is doing well so I check in with Dad when I'm doing a postpartum. I want to know that Dad is getting at least 6 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. I want to know that Dad is eating well. I want to know that Dad is taking care of himself. I also want to answer any questions Dad may have.

I might make suggestions like using paper plates, ordering food in, or going to the store and picking up a few frozen pizzas for meals. I might suggest Dad take naps or get a few hours of sleep at night in a different room than Mom and baby. I might suggest Dad see a therapist if I am seeing signs he is heading into postpartum depression.

I want Dad to thrive when baby arrives. I want Dad to be empowered and equipped to support Mom and baby well. Because I want the entire family to thrive, I ask questions and talk to Dad about postpartum depression. I want Dad to feel respected, valued and heard. I do not want Dad to be forgotten in the busyness of life with a newborn.

Newborns spend a lot of time with Mom in the first few' days and weeks after birth. This helps Mom and baby connect well or bond. While Dad isn't the one who can nurse baby, there are still lots of things Dad can do to bond with baby.  

• Dad can be the one to read baby a story every day.
• Dad can be the one to bathe baby.
• Dad can be the one in charge of getting baby ready for bed for the night.
• Dad can be the one who puts baby to bed.
• Dad can be the one who gets baby out of bed in the morning.
• Dad can be the one who is in charge of getting baby dressed and ready for the day.
• Dad can be the one who snuggles baby at dinnertime while Mom gets to have both hands free to eat.
• Dad can be the one to take baby out for a walk everyday, whether it's going through the neighborhood or driving to the mall, store or other indoor space and walking there.

I recommend that Dad should have some area of baby's day that is his special time with baby, that only he does, and does how it works for him and baby.  It may be different than how Mom would do it, but that's okay. Babies are smart, and they know Mom and Dad aren't clones of each other. Babies benefit from having Dad only time to support and increase bonding, and Dad only time shouldn't wait until baby is older.  It should start the day baby is born.

Maternity care focuses on Mom and baby during pregnancy, birth and postpartum which is wonderful and necessary. However, Dads often get overlooked or ignored which I feel is a disservice to the family.  Just as birth brings changes for Moms, it does for Dads as well.  There are a lot of resources devoted to supporting Mom and baby, but not so much for Dads.  So I decided to share my favorite resources for Dads.
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• Childbirth classes- these help everyone understand how pregnancy and birth work.
• The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin.  This is a great resource for ideas to help with labor support.
• Welcome to Fatherhood: The Modern Man's Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Fatherhood- written by David Arrell, a Dad to Dads. I love the suggestions and ideas in this book.  It's written with a humorous touch but has rock solid advice.
• Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad written by John Pfeiffer.  Another great book to read, written by a Dad to Dads.
• The Sears Baby Book written by Drs Sears and others.  If you are unsure of how to care for a newborn, or just want to get an idea of what that will be like, this book explains things well. 
• welcometofatherhood.com offers classes on birth, and caring for mom and baby in the first 3 months postpartum as well as individual coaching.
• Postpartum Support International-because 10% or more of Dads will struggle with postpartum depression or anxiety after baby is here.

While Dads are often more in the background in the immediate postpartum, their needs are no less real or important than Mom or baby.  I hope one day to share a list of resources for Dads that has at least twice as many resources as this list.