Being a midwife can be challenging, and it requires many skills. One of the skills I have had to hone as a midwife is juggling....

Being a midwife means being an expert in calendar juggling.  Scheduled commitments and activities may get canceled at the very last minute, or rearranged a few times depending on when babies decide to come.  Being a midwife means being dependable for clients, occasionally at the expense of your friends and family.  Sometimes you have to put the needs and desires of your family second. Yay for flexible families and friends who understand this and support the midwife wholeheartedly!

Sometimes being a midwife means juggling vehicles.  In my life, we have an older car which is fun to drive but isn't the car you want to drive for longer distances.  If the hubby needs to travel, we have a discussion about where my clients are located to decide which car he's taking.  Sometimes he may come and switch out cars while I'm at a birth.  

Being a midwife means you may juggle your own needs so you can support a client in labor.  I've been at many births where my needs for sleep, eating or drinking were shifted or delayed so I could be available to support a client in labor.

Being a midwife means trying to juggle the expectations you have of yourself, the expectations your clients have, and expectations others who are invited into the birth may have. Trying to juggle expectations means I am forever second guessing myself. I always wonder if I have missed something, if I am understanding what I can see, feel and observe correctly.  I am not perfect and know I will make mistakes, but I keep chasing after perfection. 

Don't misunderstand me, I am not complaining. I chose to be a midwife. I have impressed myself at times with the juggling that is part of midwifery.  Maybe one day I'll even learn to juggle balls or fruit!

Today, I'm going to rant a little.  One of my personal pet peeves as a midwife is that once it is obvious that someone is pregnant, it is as if they become public property.  Complete strangers suddenly feel as if they have carte blanche to comment about your pregnancy, your choices, your health and so on.  Sometimes they feel that pregnancy entitles them to come over and touch your belly without asking first!  You may get told birth stories whether you want them or not.  

Why does it seem to so many that it's acceptable to comment on a stranger's pregnancy.  Comments like "You look ready to burst", or "I hope your water doesn't break while you are shopping" are often shared when someone sees a pregnant mother.  It's sad that people just can't keep their comments to themselves.  

A large proportion of society seems to have the tact to restrain comments on someone's appearance while with them in person (social media is another matter) unless it's a pregnant mother.  We don't walk up to strangers and tell them how to take care of themselves unless it's a pregnant mother.  We don't tell siblings that their lives are never going to be the same, that they will have to grow up unless they are with a pregnant mother.  We keep our comments to ourselves unless it's about a pregnant mother.

We need to stop making comments, expecting we can pat bellies, and giving unsolicited advice.  What if we kept our mouths shut and didn't share unless asked?  What if we shared a smile with the pregnant mother and went on with our day knowing we made her life easier by smiling instead of assuming we have something to say she wants to hear?